The Monticello Institute
A letter to Sherry Graham from Dr. Dawn Whitmore.
Thank you for being so very nice to say so many nice things
about me and my accomplishments. I am sorry for not replying sooner
but I get so many e-mails it is difficult for me to reply to them all,
but I eventually get to everyone at least once or twice. I also like
to wait and see how the new students, like yourself, are doing in the program
before I send them some personalized mail instead of a stock form letter.
I originally started my field of study as a way out of my deep marital
frustration. As you can see it blossomed into something very special
to a very large number of women and their husbands. My discoveries
were based on the works of others, I just happened to see how all of their
pieces fit together and that pointed me and my research in the right direction.
Not all that an impressive feat really, just being lucky (or fortunate)
enough to be in the right place at the right time. I did apply my
observations on myself to test my findings to see if the conclusions were
correct. When these tests seemed to be moving in the right direction
we started what became the Route 66 group. We worked the system out
quickly for the 65
behind me. It was difficult back then to do what is now referred
to as the dosing. "Ladies" didn't have oral sex with men back then
(even if it was their husband) and there is still a stigma associated with
oral sex, and sexually active women.
But my research indicated that women who were physically active and
physically fit were sexually active and happy about their role as a sexually
active woman in a happy marriage. Usually much more so than women
who were not. Most of these women were also at the leading edge of
providing oral sex for their husbands as well as receiving oral sex from
their husbands, in addition to masturbating on a regular basis. The
married women I interviewed from gyms were the most at peace with these
roles as were women who exercised at home. None of these women knew
why they were happy and content, but they all were happy to keep doing
the things that let them continue their happiness. The problem I
had was none of
these women were running to the mountain tops to tell the world they
were doing things that were frowned upon by society. And even today
this private joy remains just that, private. I had a hard time masturbating
regularly, but eventually got it into a schedule that worked. It
made me feel so bad because women, especially married women, didn't do
that. I had to change my cultural way of thinking and do what felt
I also had a hard time convincing my husband to let me start having
oral sex with him. There were several nights I had to seem like a
nymphomaniacal freak to him because I wanted to put his penis in my mouth
and act like a "whore" would act. He was very adamant about not letting
me do this. It was against all that he felt was right. This
being a different time I had to nearly beg to get him to let me to do this.
He would eventually give up because I guess I was getting too loud and
he knew once I got my "dose" and we were sexually intimate for a period
of time I would be quiet. Maybe he felt used, I don't know.
He eventually got into the scheme, my scheme. He started working
out with me and that was a real turn on, for both of us. I would
even tell him while we were working out, and still do, how horny I was
and very graphically what I was going to do to him when we were done.
A side effect of the research and learning how to modify our musculature
and sexual performance we also learned how to modify our erectile tissues
like the penis and clitoris. I know why we changed but my husband
and I can't really remember what it was like to have smaller genitals.
I do still wonder more than a couple times a week if I made my husbands
penis a too big. But I would rather have him with too much than not
enough. ;) And his size still hasn't stretched me out of shape
either, because I am constantly doing my kegel exercises as a part of my
workout. With every rep of every exercise I do one kegel, in addition
to my 500 kegel per day minimum. It's like a really good grip down
there now, enough I can keep my husband from ejaculating when he orgasms.
My orgasms are never humdrum events either but extremely intense full
body experiences every time, and my husband can cause them for me almost
as easily and as quickly as I can for myself. We still schedule our
work, rest and play, and to others it may seem a little too structured,
but we know we feel good and look good (especially for our age).
We are both excited with every new day because we know what is coming (no
pun intended) and we look forward to the whole event. It's a little
like a mouse, a maze and some cheese. The mouse wants the cheese
but hates the maze. Well I know the "maze" will always end in the
"cheese" (always), and I am so addicted to that "cheese" I get excited
and aroused just thinking about the "maze". I fall asleep every night
sexually exhausted and content, looking forward to the next days "maze"
We are also still fine tuning various intricacies of the system for
cultural or geographic differences we have found to achieve the same goal
that you are working for now.
I have reviewed the correspondence between you and Michelle, and I can
see that you are beginning to see and feel some improvement in many parts
of your life and your self. Your correspondence is a little sparse
though, and you may find that the therapy portion of your treatment will
be more beneficial if you participate more openly. Give and take.
It's a little like going to a psychiatrist and just sitting silently on
the couch. At the end of the hour the psychiatrist doesn't know what
you need or how to help you, and you don't know how the psychiatrist might
have helped you if you had shared more. Communication is a key point.
I can also see by your pictures as well as your correspondence you are
at the very beginning of your change and would seem to be stuck at your
first plateau. You will find several plateaus on your way to your
ultimate goal and each plateau will have a different cause and solution.
Some are physical and some are mental, but they are all solvable.
Don't try and solve all of your problems on your own. You clearly
have an extraordinarily good head for abstractly reasoning and sorting
through problems you have encountered and selecting the correct path.
And the talking it out part is a big tool in the therapy. Just don't
take that burden on your own, that's why we are here. That's
why Michelle is here as well. Talk it out with your counselor Michelle,
and she will help you past the present difficulty as well as difficulties
you will encounter in the future. And in case I forgot to properly
impress upon you, your success is not a solo effort it is also directly
linked to your husbands success and vice versa. It's not just your
health but your marital health as well, and definitely a paired effort
that benefits both of you. If you need an excuse for your behavior
tell your husband you have certain goals for your physical change by Christmas
and your goals include changes for him as well. Take control.
I also noticed you quickly got into the high risk pictures, which is
very good but a little unusual for a timid talker. Just don't let
your husband make you the only subject during your photoplay. Take
the camera and make him the high risk subject too and in various states
of arousal, put both of you in the picture as well. Crank up the
excitement. Just tell him you will delete them later, send them in
and add them to your photo history. When you send them in ask Michelle
to point out what you do or do not like about the pictures, and what body
parts you want to change and to what degree you want to change that body
I will be checking in on you in the future because I already know you
will be a graduate. You are obviously very smart, just a little timid.
Your progress and success are all completely and ultimately in your self
paced control, and you must consciously choose to take that control responsibility
and steer it to your goal successfully. And don't overlook any details,
because they all matter. It may be difficult at times, actually it
will definitely be difficult, but your success is your payoff. And your
success, as all other successes, is what fills my heart with a source of
boundless joy and pride.