Welcome to 
The Monticello Institute
A letter to Sherry Graham from Dr. Dawn Whitmore.
Sherry,
  Thank you for being so very nice to say so many nice things about me and my accomplishments.  I am sorry for not replying sooner but I get so many e-mails it is difficult for me to reply to them all, but I eventually get to everyone at least once or twice.  I also like to wait and see how the new students, like yourself, are doing in the program before I send them some personalized mail instead of a stock form letter. 

I originally started my field of study as a way out of my deep marital frustration.  As you can see it blossomed into something very special to a very large number of women and their husbands.  My discoveries were based on the works of others, I just happened to see how all of their pieces fit together and that pointed me and my research in the right direction.  Not all that an impressive feat really, just being lucky (or fortunate) enough to be in the right place at the right time.  I did apply my observations on myself to test my findings to see if the conclusions were correct.  When these tests seemed to be moving in the right direction we started what became the Route 66 group.  We worked the system out quickly for the 65
behind me.  It was difficult back then to do what is now referred to as the dosing.  "Ladies" didn't have oral sex with men back then (even if it was their husband) and there is still a stigma associated with oral sex, and sexually active women. 

But my research indicated that women who were physically active and physically fit were sexually active and happy about their role as a sexually active woman in a happy marriage.  Usually much more so than women who were not.  Most of these women were also at the leading edge of providing oral sex for their husbands as well as receiving oral sex from their husbands, in addition to masturbating on a regular basis.  The married women I interviewed from gyms were the most at peace with these roles as were women who exercised at home.  None of these women knew why they were happy and content, but they all were happy to keep doing the things that let them continue their happiness.  The problem I had was none of 
these women were running to the mountain tops to tell the world they were doing things that were frowned upon by society.  And even today this private joy remains just that, private.  I had a hard time masturbating regularly, but eventually got it into a schedule that worked.  It made me feel so bad because women, especially married women, didn't do that.  I had to change my cultural way of thinking and do what felt good. 

I also had a hard time convincing my husband to let me start having oral sex with him.  There were several nights I had to seem like a nymphomaniacal freak to him because I wanted to put his penis in my mouth and act like a "whore" would act.  He was very adamant about not letting me do this.  It was against all that he felt was right.  This being a different time I had to nearly beg to get him to let me to do this.  He would eventually give up because I guess I was getting too loud and he knew once I got my "dose" and we were sexually intimate for a period of time I would be quiet.  Maybe he felt used, I don't know.  He eventually got into the scheme, my scheme.  He started working out with me and that was a real turn on, for both of us.  I would even tell him while we were working out, and still do, how horny I was and very graphically what I was going to do to him when we were done.

A side effect of the research and learning how to modify our musculature and sexual performance we also learned how to modify our erectile tissues like the penis and clitoris.  I know why we changed but my husband and I can't really remember what it was like to have smaller genitals.  I do still wonder more than a couple times a week if I made my husbands penis a too big.  But I would rather have him with too much than not enough.  ;)  And his size still hasn't stretched me out of shape either, because I am constantly doing my kegel exercises as a part of my workout.  With every rep of every exercise I do one kegel, in addition to my 500 kegel per day minimum.  It's like a really good grip down there now, enough I can keep my husband from ejaculating when he orgasms.

My orgasms are never humdrum events either but extremely intense full body experiences every time, and my husband can cause them for me almost as easily and as quickly as I can for myself.  We still schedule our work, rest and play, and to others it may seem a little too structured, but we know we feel good and look good (especially for our age).  We are both excited with every new day because we know what is coming (no pun intended) and we look forward to the whole event.  It's a little like a mouse, a maze and some cheese.  The mouse wants the cheese but hates the maze.  Well I know the "maze" will always end in the "cheese" (always), and I am so addicted to that "cheese" I get excited and aroused just thinking about the "maze".  I fall asleep every night sexually exhausted and content, looking forward to the next days "maze" and "cheese".

We are also still fine tuning various intricacies of the system for cultural or geographic differences we have found to achieve the same goal that you are working for now.

I have reviewed the correspondence between you and Michelle, and I can see that you are beginning to see and feel some improvement in many parts of your life and your self.  Your correspondence is a little sparse though, and you may find that the therapy portion of your treatment will be more beneficial if you participate more openly.  Give and take.  It's a little like going to a psychiatrist and just sitting silently on the couch.  At the end of the hour the psychiatrist doesn't know what you need or how to help you, and you don't know how the psychiatrist might have helped you if you had shared more.  Communication is a key point.

I can also see by your pictures as well as your correspondence you are at the very beginning of your change and would seem to be stuck at your first plateau.  You will find several plateaus on your way to your ultimate goal and each plateau will have a different cause and solution.  Some are physical and some are mental, but they are all solvable.  Don't try and solve all of your problems on your own.  You clearly have an extraordinarily good head for abstractly reasoning and sorting through problems you have encountered and selecting the correct path.  And the talking it out part is a big tool in the therapy.  Just don't take that burden on your own, that's why we are here.   That's why Michelle is here as well.  Talk it out with your counselor Michelle, and she will help you past the present difficulty as well as difficulties you will encounter in the future.  And in case I forgot to properly impress upon you, your success is not a solo effort it is also directly linked to your husbands success and vice versa.  It's not just your health but your marital health as well, and definitely a paired effort that benefits both of you.  If you need an excuse for your behavior tell your husband you have certain goals for your physical change by Christmas and your goals include changes for him as well.  Take control.

I also noticed you quickly got into the high risk pictures, which is very good but a little unusual for a timid talker.  Just don't let your husband make you the only subject during your photoplay.  Take the camera and make him the high risk subject too and in various states of arousal, put both of you in the picture as well.  Crank up the excitement.  Just tell him you will delete them later, send them in and add them to your photo history.  When you send them in ask Michelle to point out what you do or do not like about the pictures, and what body parts you want to change and to what degree you want to change that body part.

I will be checking in on you in the future because I already know you will be a graduate.  You are obviously very smart, just a little timid.  Your progress and success are all completely and ultimately in your self paced control, and you must consciously choose to take that control responsibility and steer it to your goal successfully.  And don't overlook any details, because they all matter.  It may be difficult at times, actually it will definitely be difficult, but your success is your payoff. And your success, as all other successes, is what fills my heart with a source of boundless joy and pride.
Regards,
  Dawn


© 2003 The Monticello Institute or on the Internet at www.monticelloinstitute.com